essay on why my band is better than yours.

in this essay i will tell why my band is better than yours. i will contrast and compare the different argumetns for and against the idea that my band is better than yours, and then come to a conclusion. (that my band is indeed better than yours)

my band is really really good. there are alot of good bands (good sharlit, the google drolls to name but a few) but none of theese compare to ours.
why is my band so good? well, both me and andrew (he's the drummer) are very veruy very very very good musicians, and we like music. especially the good stuff (my favorit is siline dee on and maybe for something more underground ,when im feeling adventurous, some good sharlit - cos they're alternative)
andrew listenes to the same music - except he also likes good dance music too, like the m people. vocal house is a God send. at lesast it has lyrics. 
i listen to the edge. cos they play all the good stuff. like good hsarlit and the google drolls. avril lavine also is played, but shes a little too alternative for my tastes. good sharlit is better at it) they play heavy metal too, like creedence, and pod. pod is not very good, although they arent as bad as radiohead. radioehad should stop making music, they arent' even creative. i mean their lyrics dont even make sence. how is that creative?
your music taste is probably crap. ill bet you listen to crapy radio stations (like radio one, and national radio, and concert fm) that play music without words! i mean, whats the point in having music without words??? thats the whole point of music isnt it? well i think so anyway. and my opinion is better than yours. just like my band. 
my theory is - the more money they spend, the better the music is likely to be. why would they put money into music that isnt really really very good and worth while? they aren't stupid or anything. how do you think they got to the top? by being uncreative and stupid? i doubt it.

so i have told how my music taste is better than yours. that gives me an obvious advantage in beign a musishin if i like good musik, than i will be a better musician.. how can you be a good musician, if you like bad music, like moat's art, and bate hovin. they are old. how can old people be cool? they cant! that's how. some people even like this guy called dibossy. he wasnt any good, (even his teachers didnt like him) cos he played the piano.(which is probably the reason his teachers didnt like him) how can you make good music on a instrument that isnt cool. i mean ive never heard any of his songs.. (did he even write his own songs? i bet he didnt even write his own lyrics) but chances are, he sucks more than most.
once, i heard of this guy called ronnie martin who plays synthesizers. his onstage name is "joy electric" - its a bit weird, and a uncreative, but anyway, i listened to some of his songs once it was ok, some of his lyrics didnt make sence, which put me off (theres no point in having lyrics that dont make sence, and theres no point in having music that doesnt have lyrics - cos whats the point? there is none.) but most of his other stuff that i heard sounded better and more creative, so that was ok. but then i saw him play, and realised that synthesizers look just like pianows. i imediately realised that he sucked. cos how can you be good if you play instruments that look like a piano. cos pianos aren't cool. only dorks play them, how can you make good music on a instrument tha looks like a piano that is a dorky instrument? the answer is glaringly obviuos. you cant! it just doesnt happen, friend. deal with it.
i saw a video clip from joy electric, too, once. it was really weird. there wasn't even any dancing in it! what's the point of a music video clip without dancing?? it just had them walking around. weird. 

i have been playing the guitar since 14. that's a long time to be playing the guitar. im practically a pro by now. i only play good music and good instruments. i also like to play the boss guitar and the dums, cos they're also cool. i dont like instruments that arent cool like the challow, and the violan, and the viola, and the sax. they arent cool, so how are you supposed to make good music with them? the piano sucks too. it cant be cool - cos only dorks play it, so good music cant be made with it. all the cool music is good,and all the good music is cool. its the law of the jungle, my friend, deal with it.
my band is so good, that we dont even need to practice, because we are so good. we are better than you.

i write my own songs too, which makes me an artist, unlike all the people (like radiohead and the mars volta) who probably dont write their own songs.. did you know moat's art didnt write his own songs? i havn't heard any of his songs, but i bet that they suck. i heard he didnt even know how to speak english! what a moron. how are we supposed to understand his lyrics, if theyr'e not in english? - i dont know what language they're in, but i bet it's stupid, just like your band. 
i wouldnt be supprised if his iq was low (like 12 or something - mine is 87, which is really really very high, im almost a jenuis - i bet you thought i was low. but im not my iq is really really big). i heard that most people think moat's art was a jenius. well, they obviously dont knwo what theyr talking about, how can someone who didnt even know how to speak english be a genius? face it, friend, its impossible! deal with it. 
another reason for my band being better than yours and me being a better musishian than you is that i have aspirations to be on top of the pops. top of the pops is the cream da la ceam of the crop as far as good music goes. only the best, most creative stuff gets on there. 
you probably dont even like top of the pops. whichs is a cover for the fact that you'll never be good enough to get on. ive heard people say that they dont play the instrumetns on the programme, and that the singers lip sink. what a dumb thing to say! i can see them playing it on the tv. its right there infront of you in black and white! how can you miss a thing like that ? anyone who says that must be a moron! they're probably just jelious that they are not as good as the artists on top of the pops, cos the artists on top of the pops are really really very good. and i only reserve that phrase for artists who are truely good.
we are also good at working the crowd. every good band needs to hype the audience up by shouting "are you ready to rock' etc. only stupid people dont do this.
i heard of this band called starflyer59, who dont do this. i heard some other people say that it doesnt matter cos their music is good... what a dum thing t osay. how stupid can some people be??? i listened to one of their albums, and the lead singer's voice was so low in the mix, that i couldnt hear his lyrics. and when i read thame in the boocklet, they didnt make snece! obviously they suck. they are amatures, cos they put the vocals down in the mix. only amatures do this. all the cool and good and professional people put the vocals higher than the other instruments, cos the vocals is more important, cos without them the soing is pointl;ess. just like your band.

to conclude, my band is better than your band. you should stop making music, cos you will never be as good as me. cos you suck and i rule.







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